Breakups are tough.

In fact, break-ups can be some of the toughest experiences we have to face, independent of our age or even our life experience. Whether you’re the person who initiated the break up, or the recipient of the heart wrenching words "It's over!", there is plenty you can try to get your ex back in your arms.

There are a few things however, you should avoid doing at all cost when trying to get your ex back, so pay attention below.

1. Avoid acting desperate. For the start, distance yourself from your relationship for several weeks and don't contact your ex (especially if you were the one who was dumped!).

That's right... I know this is counter-intuitive, but that's the best way to go about it initially (and you will be tempted). You don't want to overwhelm your ex with attention, you don't want to appear needy and desperate, no matter what.

Why?

Because, human beings are programmed from the start to reject neediness and your ex is not going to come back, just because you beg them and because you are desperate. On the contrary, this might scare them and confirm their decision to break up with you.

They have to WANT to come back to you and you are going to achieve that without force, but by letting them miss you for a while and wonder first.

2. Don't choose to drink or take drugs to solve your situation. Honestly, have you ever heard of alcohol making someone more attractive to the point of getting
their ex back?

See it from the perspective of your ex. If they catch notice that you are downing a bottle of wine before bed, do you think this will make you more attractive in their eyes? At best they might feel sorry for you (but not in a nice way I am afraid)

You also run the risk of forgetting all about rule #1 and start calling and begging them.

3. Don't lock yourself up, hiding from the world. Get together with some close people from your family and your circle of friend, because you need some support. Make effort to go out and socialize occasionally, because this will also make your ex wonder about you more.

People want what they can't have easily and therefore they will be more intrigued that you are managing to sort yourself out and this will build attraction.

After the couple of weeks of no-contact have passed, attempt to contact your ex, but be gentle, friendly and upbeat. Ask how they are doing and say something nice about yourself. Suggest to meet up for an easy lunch or coffee at first and don't bring up any relationship talk yet.

Test the waters and take it from there with only gradual progression.

That might not be all you need to know about getting an ex back in your arms, but there are some great resources on the web that offer plenty of useful information. If you are at all interested in the subject, take a look at the websites I am linking you to below, because you can find some great free tips and even some free videos there, just by browsing the pages.

Are you making these mistakes with your ex? (See below)